Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal (Ch. 1-3, Abridged): A Sonnet Sequence

Chapter 1. "Dealing: A Week in the Life"

I don’t do it for the money. I do
It do it to do it. Deals are my art
Form. I call Don Imus to thank him. I
Tell Imus he’s the greatest. But what the

Hell? I’ll wing it and things will work out. I’m
Not too big on parties, because I can’t
Stand small talk. I like the casino business.
My wife, Ivana, stops in to say good-bye.

I still give Ivana a hard time.
Ivana may be the most organized
Person I know. In reality, I’m not too likely
To get involved. This story just won’t quit.

I almost never stay up late enough
To watch Letterman, but I know he’s hot.

Chapter 2. "Trump Cards: The Elements of the Deal"

My style of deal-making is quite simple
And straightforward. It’s in the genes. I think
Of it almost as a controlled neurosis.
In fact, I believe in the power of

Negative thinking. Some people criticize
Stallone, but you’ve got to give him credit.
The other people I don’t take too seriously
Are the critics. If these critics

Ever tried to become developers,
They’d be terrible failures. It’s also
Nice to get good reviews. The dollar
Always talks in the end. I don’t kid myself.

By contrast, Bob Guccione of Penthouse
Has been trying for the past seven years.

Chapter 3. "Growing Up"

His story is classic Horatio
Alger. Instinctively, my father began
To think bigger. My parents had no
Pretensions. My father had never sheltered me.

I punched my music teacher because I
Didn’t think he knew anything about
Music and I almost got expelled. I’m
Not proud of that. I like to stir things up.

I flirted briefly with the idea of
Attending film school. But in the end I
Decided real estate was a much
Better business. We got rid of the bad tenants.

Looking back, I realize now that I got
Some of my sense of showmanship from my mother.