In some ways the most interesting people to deal with, for me, are the ones whose two most pronounced feelings towards me are, so far as I can tell, disdain and fear.
Hey [redacted]. I'm writing to say that, when the above exchange happened, almost a year ago, I was asking you out because I totally thought you were rad, and also completely adorable. I didn't respond because it made me anxious, because I thought that it was totally sweet and also completely unexpected that you did respond, and frankly I just kind of savored it and didn't want to screw it up. I am writing now to say that -- while I don't think you should ever go out with me, because you are way too pretty for me, and I'm not stupid -- it remains the case that you are totally rad, and every time I see you I'm like, wow, she's awesome and adorable, and also says really interesting things. All I'm trying to do, here, is acknowledge your objective level of radness. Well played, and be well, and good day!
- Her just stone-cold, straight-up ignoring me
- My feelings being hurt
- Me giggling uncontrollably right after it's over
- "I like hamburgers better than I like hotdogs, but today I want a hotdog!"
- "I smell amazing because of clean laundry!"
- "It's such a nice day, it makes me want to fucking blow my brains out!"
- "The Ultimate Warrior died, but he'll live on, in the hearts and minds of millions."
- "Haven't wet the bed in a while, but I can't imagine the last time was the last time."
- "If I had a million dollars in ones, I would make it rain on the Quad."
- "It's hard not to admire Oprah, but what has she really done for people of color?"
- "Artie Lange, R.D. Laing, K.D. Lang -- wow, that's weird."
- "I can eat a whole box of popsicles, but maybe not all in one day."