Things to do before I die (2)

Direct a hugely successful, profane exploitation film and insist that, in the broadcast version of said film, the word "motherfucker(s)" be redubbed with the word "numbercruncher(s)" - as in, "numbercrunchers be trippin'!"

Things to do before I die (1)

Act in the dramatic reenactment portion of an ultra-low budget documentary about the Italian Renaissance. Wear poofy pants, funny hat, elaborate vest, obviously fake wig. Look very earnest.

P.S., there is a Saint John the Beheaded. Awesome.