An eyeful of DOME

I'm a big fan of leaving your phone number for waitresses. I've never done it myself, but I've cheered on many a brave, foolish warrior as he throws himself on that limp short-sword.

Tonight, we had a hot waitress. One of those chummy, accessible waitresses who manages to look like she knows exactly what everything on the menu tastes like, but still get a huge tip that's not at all based on quality service. Plus, she was chummy and friendly, and even willing to be a little geeky.

This, naturally, became a source of conversation amongst us.

So when she brought the check -- and with it, a comment card "so the management knows how we're doing" -- it was already a bad scene in the making.

Nick took it marked "excellent" for every category, and then wrote "Hot." Then, he wrote "-- Do Me."

After a moment of shock and awe, we started trying to find away around this. The most plausible argument was that the letters were all really close together, so it looked like "Hot DoMe." This, Jesse suggested, could be the first terraformed colony on Mars. So I took the card and started writing. While I was doing it, the waitress came back and mentioned that her little brother was thinking of majoring in journalism, and she asked us if it was a good idea. I looked up from the card onto which I was scribbling and said, "is he cut-throat?" She said he wasn't. I said, "then he should probably find something else." And then I bent back over the card.

When all was said and done, the card read

Hot -- DoMe
Is the name of the first terraformed colony on Mars.
You should go there,
and start a restaurant,
and hire waitresses
as good
as this
one.

Then, I realized, she'd seen me writing when I told her to keep her brother out of the news room. So, when we left and she said, "Great, now I get to read it," and she got an eyefull of "Do Me," she probably thought it was from me.

There's nothing quite like accidental bravery that isn't even yours to make you feel like an idiot.