Schenectady Looby

I've mentioned that somebody keeps coming to my blog searching for "Schenectady Looby." So Sisyphus -- whose fantastic Academic Cog blog was recently called "the best barometer of job-market induced hysteria” by academic bloggin' superstar Scott Eric Kaufman (plug!) -- asks, sanely enough "Ok, what is a schenectady looby?"

Well, depending on your perspective, it will either make no sense, or perfect sense. It's that rarest of logical antinomies. You see, friends, it's both a non-sequitur... and a super-sequitur. It follows so much that it passes you, circles the block, comes up behind you again, sticks a gun in your back, makes you buy it breakfast, and then steals your iPod and makes fun of all the songs on it, and even though you think they're all really good songs, you still feel terrible.

Schenectady is the city in New York where my friend found five dollars.

Just lying there, on the street. Five dollars. That old story. Five dollars on the streets of Schenectady. (Included, for your convenience in imagining five dollars on the streets of Schenectady, images of the streets of Schenectady with five dollars on them.)

And Looby is Kurt Looby, an Iowa basketball scrub-slash-superhero from the Virgin Islands who's seven feet tall and all of 145 pounds of cartilage, cornrows, and shotblocking atom bomb arms.

And who may or may not actually be Gumby. But it's hard to tell because he nearly disappears when he turns sideways.

If you ever found five dollars on the streets of Schenectady and then paid Kurt Looby five dollars to dunk on the Schenectady Planetarium, it would look like this.

Looby has been Schenectadied. And that's how you Schenectady Looby.


And folks, lest we forget -- this is what our next president looks like in khakis. No, no, I mean, this is what she looks like. Ohhhh, it gets bigger -- click to enlarge. Click to engorge.

Photo credit: Bill, my friend's mom's weird hippie freelance photographer boyfriend.


SenorStephenUrkelDaedalus said...

You know how on TV promos they always list the star player when they are teasing an upcoming game? In a recent one I saw, the audience was invited to watch "Kurt Looby lead Iowa's impressive defense," in the Hawkeye Challenge, which they promptly lost for like the third time in its history. Yet I still love this team, I really do.


Sisyphus said...

I clicked. Now I feel dirty.

(and not in that good dirty way, the kind where you can't wait to sober up enough to go brag to all your friends.)

And Ohmygod I think that other guy is only as tall as Looby's leg! WTF!

D said...

It's ok to click your own links. Unless you're a Catholic.

Now let's make Looby a superstar, people!