Sorry, Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower.

So I'm taking a shower and I'm thinking, man, you know how in Top Gun Maverick is always talkin bout, "It's time to buzz the tower?" That's really what people should call trimming their pubes. "Sorry, Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower." And then I started thinking, you know what's great? When you don't buzz the tower for a while and then you conditioner your pubes for some reason and they get all poofy and feathered and Hasselhoffian, so the only thing they need is some big-rock reverb drums and they'll get a record deal and a super-slow-mo jog along the beach.

And not long after this, I was laughing so hard in the shower that I couldn't breathe. It was really embarrassing. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world.

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S CRAZY.