Helping along the inevitable Clipse backlash: Part 1

As tropological language goes, the pun "Keys open doors" is about six or seven steps less ingenious than "Killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."

When I was 11 or 12, my dad bought me a Vanilla Ice live cd, and it was really a life-changing artifact for me, for one reason: they didn't edit out the parts of the live show where the dancers danced. So VI would say, "Aight, now Looby One (or whatever the fuck their names were) is going to dance for ya'll, you wanna see Looby One dance?" And the crowd would scream, and then there would be like five minutes of looped drums while somebody danced onstage but you couldn't see it. It was my favorite.

Also: the AACS (Blu-Ray, HD) encryption key has already been cracked, and the douchebags in the industry are already acting pissy about it. What did Pirates of the Carribean 2 make, like a billion dollars worldwide? And it doesn't even have a plot. You're going to get your money, you sad little price gougers, with your lunatic persecution mania.

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