Having just finished watching Hannibal -- which is a plotless baggy monster and terrible and one of those "shocking" installments that tarnishes a perfectly good legacy (like Once Upon A Time In Mexico or Terminator 3), but is great to look at -- I am reminded of the fact that some friends of mine went to it in a crowded theatre on opening day, and during the showing a black woman exclaimed, quite loudly, "I know he ain't going to make that man eat his own brain. MMMMM HMMMMM!"

Am I still drunk? Because it's seven in the morning. There was a funeral wake at the bar I went to last night. So, while a bunch of catty girls who think they're hotter than each other knitted scarves, and my friends screamed at Hawkeyes on TV, several dignified and teary funerales hugged a lot and cried a little. For some reason I seemed to be the only person who found this interaction a enervating and awkward. And awkwardness, like most other things in this world, is an excuse to drink excessively. The shortlist:
-Asked a bartender to marry me for playing Elvis Costello. Was not kidding. Did not amuse bartender.
-Got into a discussion about shoes and hats with a man who owns 75 hats and 100 pairs of shoes, who gave me a piece of paper for a reason I can't remember, but that was related to the new Dinosaur Jr shoes, with a word I can't read on it.
When he gave it to me he acted like he was doing me a seriously huge favor, though.
-Drunk-dialed almost everyone in my new phone and shriek-screamed rants at them for as long as I could sustain them. Highlights (i.e., the only parts I can remember) include, "I'm better than the Kennedys!" and "Come on! You know it and I know it!" which referred to something unspecified.
-Watched friend call other friend's phone until it was turned off, then tried to access his voicemail by guessing his pin number for like two hours.

Another one to wipe off the conscience.

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