SFW (Sucker!... or I guess it depends on your job?)

There’s actually a Hungarian porn star named Simony Diamond. That’s the most philosophically and ecumenically complicated name for a porn star maybe ever. If you're going to go to hell, I guess, you might as well shoot yourself out of a giant heretical slingshot. Made she can even get some of herself in the devils's eye or hair or whatever, you know, as payback.

"Gotcha, Satan!"

I love how the wikipedia entry for simony, "the ecclesiastical crime of paying for offices or positions in the hierarchy of a church," has "for the actress, see Simony Diamond" at the top. Also, she is a week younger than I am to the day, yet she's made so much more of her life than I have of mine. She's got 167 actress credits on IMDB, including: Fuck Fighters, Eurolegal Cum Suckers, Private Pearls: the Best Scenes of the Year 2005 (Congratulations, Simony! What an honor!), Ass Wide Open 6 (emphasis added), and, one of her last films before she retired last year, Anal Antics. I'll bet that was exhausting.

*Edit* Her younger sister, Susie Diamond, is also a pornstar who has appeared in such films as Sports 9: Paintball Warriors, Share the Load 3, My First Black Cock (despite having earlier appeared in White Bubble Butt Sluts, which came out via porn company Black Ice -- this seems somehow suspect), How's That Big Cock Gonna Fit In My Ass (it really seems like I'm making these up, but I'm not), Black in that Ass 7, and Big Black Beast 2. Wow, I'll be that was exhausting, too.