A short wardrobe update, and "the best thing ever" he said semironically

I'm wearing one of the shirt I accidentally stole from my sister's ex-gangster ex-boyfriend, and when I wear it I sometimes wonder, was this this shirt that witnessed all those murders?

While I was walking home from the bar the other night, the Pumas that I've placed all of my faith and most of my hopes in over the last couple of years finally gave out and cut the shit out of the back of my heel before I even noticed it. It's complicating my pedestrian lifestyle. How much anxiety are you allowed to couch in your first shoe-shopping excursion in a new city?

So what made my day? This made my motherfucking day.

Jean Claude Van Damme starring in a film about the making of a biopic about Jean Claude Van Damme starring Jean Claude Van Damme. UHNNNNNNNN! I just popped an embarrassing Jean Claude Van Damme chubby.

It should be noted that I've probably spent more time in a room with Jean Claude Van Damme's digital simulacrum than with any human being, or facsimile of a human being in my entire life. So, this is as naturally exciting for me as it would be for you if, say, your father or your girlfriend landed a starring role in the next Spielberg / Bay CGI vehicle. You might not have my baggage, but, as a wise man once said, "Everybody's got a price. Everybody's gonna pay."

Finally: my Red Sox won. That's important. But what's more important is, the Indians lost. They dropped 3 straight games. That's hard to do. I'm convinced it has less to do with the fact that the Red Sox were good than it has to do with the tacit but overwhelming shame that has to come with making millions and millions and millions of dollars playing a kid's game when this

is yr logo. I wouldn't feel too good about it, either.

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