A plaint.

Sure, there’s the obvious I’m-alone-and-they’re-not jealousy. But what really gets my goat when my friends get into relationships is that I’m never prepared for the 2 full letter grade drop in the quality of friendship. A-for-effort friends become middling C+ students, where the + stands for the fact that whenever they show up, you can count on them being accompanied by their bitches (and here I mean bitch as a gender-neutral general pejorative).

For at least the first 15 months of the feeling-out fallinlove, they become – if you’re really lucky – undependable at best. But what’s been surprising me lately about this is that it even applies to social networking sites, which I thought were supposed to be convenient ways to stay in touch with people who you were otherwise too lazy to keep up contact with. It’s like, first their profile picture changes to a profile picture of both of them, then all their pictures in all their albums become pictures of both of them, and then all the sudden it’s like Hey Motherfucker, I know you're too busy to drive the 18 minutes to my house, but you can’t even write on my wall?!

I root for the happiness of the people I love! Me calling somebody a bad friend is a little like the pot calling the kettle... a bad friend.


Joshua said...

Soco in bed,
A sunny sunday watching John McLaughlin,
And having sex again and again.
I'd stopped by,
Cause Ellen had my copy of Nebraska.
They never even put on their clothes.
I hung for a while,
But everytime I tried to ask them something,
They started making out all again.
I thought it was rude.
I couldn't tell you why.
Why, Ellen and Ben,
They may as well run off to Havana.
They simply disappeared for a year.
They'd show up at shows,
But less and less,
And saying "hi" to no one,
And why they even came was unclear.
They got a new place,
But Neither of their names were in the phonebook.
So no one really knew where they where.
I thought it was cheap,
But I couldnt tell you why.

-from "Ellen and Ben" by the Dismemberment Plan

D said...

I hear that. Now I need a nephew to hang with... sigh.