The world's foremost lacrosse professor

I just feel I should mention that last night I had a dream that I was mentored by the world's foremost lacrosse professor. He was also a vampire, but instead of being batlike, he was vulturelike. He was 500 years old, and acknowledged to be the greatest lacrosse player in history. Except lacrosse was played in an auditorium, on chorus risers, and it was like baseball. But with lacrosse sticks. And it was always accompanied by a string quartet that played Gustav Mahler. And then the professor discovered, in a cave in Albania, an even greater and older lacrosse player than he. She was part Blue Jay, and she had a kind of heart nobody had ever seen before that allowed her to play a whole lacrosse game without taking a breath. But she was so old that she was in a coma, and he was trying to resuscitate her, that he might learn her ancient lacrosse secrets before she passed on.

Meanwhile, back at Iowa, my favorite Early Modern professor started a Wu Tang Clan rip off rap group called the Wu Man Group, and it became even more popular than the Clan, and then the two sects started warring a la the 90s East Coast / West Coast feud.

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