A Glass Darkly (spec yourself before you wreck yourself)

My new glasses have shaken up my standings on the “Hey, that guy kinda looks like…” Scale of Resemblance. I have to re-evaluate all sorts of shit. By my count, on a scale of 1-10, this is what's up.

I look like

Curious George (6.6, up from 4)

Mr. Turtle from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial (8.5, down from a nearly perfect 9.2 - this is a huge blow to my sense of identity)

A baby bird hatchling (7, unchanged)

Thora Birch in Ghost World (3, up from 1, an astonishing 200 percent increase)


I still scare the shit out of myself every time I accidentally see a mirror. The saga, and by saga I mean slide into semi-intentional self-parody, continues.